Unpronounceable Cancers

You know what is worse than toe cancer? Unpronounceable cancers. Waldenstrom’s Macroglobulinemia, as hard as it is to believe, is not the easiest cancer to say. Why does so much money go to breast cancer research as opposed to Waldenstrom’s Macroglobulinemia? Breast cancer is easy to pronounce.

Now, what the hell am I supposed to tell people when they ask what’s wrong? “I’m fine, except I have an unpronounceable monoclonal lymphoprolific malignancy called Waldenstrom’s Macroglobulinemia.”? Why do I get all the big challenges?

Breast cancer, now breast cancer was easy to pronounce. No problem, everyone knows someone or knows of someone who has had it, so people are willing to throw money at the problem. But Waldenstrom’s Macroglobulinemia? Please. Not to mention only 2 out of a million are diagnosed with it. And why is that? Because it is unpronounceable. That’s probably why Dr. Gorgeous was so quick to dismiss my breast cancer as a fluke– it is so easy to pronounce compared to Waldenstrom’s Macroglobulinemia. 1500 people a year are diagnosed with Waldenstrom’s Macroglobulinemia, and it is considered a rare disease. Only these people are chosen as bright enough to be able to pronounce it, so I guess I should consider myself lucky. And thank G-d I didn’t get something even MORE difficult to pronounce. Because, still, there are no parades for toe cancer.

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