I’d like to call this ‘Cancer Shmancer Poo Poo Poo for the Cure’ but I don’t want to get sued

A very public argument between a recently separated famous couple has clogged the Facebook space of many, many individuals lately.  Of course, I am not speaking of Katy Perry and Russell Brand or Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries.  These famous separations do have appeal on a base level–kind of like how you have to look at an accident as you pass it by on the freeway.  However, unlike the sex lives of the rich and famous, the separation of the recently separated couple of which I speak SHOULD stay on your radar  Let’s just call the couple Pepe and Koko for now.  Personally, one of the couple has been on my radar for a while.  Here’s why:

1998:  This was the 15 year anniversary of my freedom from Melanoma.  I was living in Israel at the time, but my parents tell me one of Koko’s employees called them and asked if I was still living.  My parents acknowledged that I was still among the upright, then gave them no more information, even though they pried.  It bothered me then and it bothers me now.  My poor parents–what if I hadn’t been so lucky?  There are nicer ways to get the information needed for ‘research.’  My heart aches for the parents that were called that had to give a different answer to ‘Living?  Yes or no’ question.

2010:  Buckets for the Cure!  No, I’m not kidding.  If you eat enough fried chicken, you wont get breast cancer.  At least that’s the way I read it… wait, you mean there is no connection between fried chicken and breast cancer?  Oh, wait, you mean a diet high in fat and cholesterol can CONTRIBUTE to breast cancer?  Well, that’s one way to be sure you protect your own interests…sell food that causes cancer, then donate money to an organization that is doing research on cancer… does something stink to you?  Oh, no, that was the chicken.  Sorry, I’m a vegetarian and plan on staying that way if chicken causes cancer.

2011:  Sue for the Cure!  Koko, you are such a bitch!  Suing mom and pop charities that use ‘for the cure’ in their name or advertising really goes against what you purport to do.  Their own website says that the woman Koko was founded for fought heart and soul to make a better life for women with breast cancer.  What do you think she would say about you suing groups like Kites for a Cure or Par for the Cure?  If you are really, really dedicated to the same cause she was, you sure have a funny way of proving it.

2012:  Pull Funding for the Cure!  Here is where the whole thing gets tricky.  Koko has every right to break up with Pepe, but can there be a little honesty here?  Pepe is dedicated to protecting women’s health.  Koko is supposed to be a partner in protecting women’s health.  How is breaking up and taking all the money out of the account supposed to help?  This is a common tactic done by couples on the outs.  You can’t share the real reason for the break up because if you do, there will be people that don’t like you … Can you see it?  What would the public say if Koko admitted, ‘I broke up with Pepe because I saw that detective following him around and was afraid they would uncover my wrong-doings as well’  or ‘My new friend is leading the parade and she doesn’t like Pepe and told me I had to break up.’  No, the public wont like either of these excuses.  So instead, Koko says they are breaking up with Pepe because they can’t be with someone under investigation. Kind of like Kim Kardashian breaking up with Kris Humphries because she didn’t know he would want her to leave LA and live in a backward place like Minnesota.  Really?  That’s the best you can come up with?  After spending $10 million on a wedding, or donating $680 million dollars and providing 170,000 clinical breast exams to women in need, it seems like you should have known what you were doing with whom before the wedding or funding.  The fact that the break up comes months after that new friend of yours came on the scene makes me think that maybe you aren’t telling the whole truth, Koko, but I’ve come to expect that after all these years.

How will this end?  So far, very well for Pepe (lots and lots of funding coming their way as a backlash to this insane drama) and not so good for Koko.  But  none of this should be a surprise to anyone who knows Koko’s  (or Kim’s) history.  Siding with a company that makes a product that is killing women, suing smaller charities, and pulling funding from women’s health organizations is part of Koko’s history.  However, we  don’t have to watch this traffic accident as it is happening.  Say no to Koko!  No more pink flip flops, no more pink ovens, and no more pink fun runs for this breast cancer street fighter.  Koko has given me nothing since I was diagnosed.  No card, no call, no visit.  Groups like Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester and Sharsheret have been there for me every step of the way.  My charity funds will go to grass roots organizations such as these, or even better, to the women on the front lines themselves.  I mean money in hand for those truly in need.  If you ask me why, I’ll tell you this:  My local supermarket still does not take pink flip flops as payment.  “Cash talks, BS walks,” I believe the saying goes.

So goodbye to what was once a loving couple.  It saddens me to think that there will be some women that will die as a result of  this stupid feud, but the truth is, they will.  Hopefully, the public wont just sit back and watch the accident unfolding.  Hopefully, strong action will tell Koko that pulling Pepe’s money wasn’t just not right, it was downright wrong.  Hopefully, no more parents will get calls from Koko asking if their precious child is still living.  Can we hope for a cure?  We can, but we must also hope Koko doesn’t sue us for it.

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4 Responses to I’d like to call this ‘Cancer Shmancer Poo Poo Poo for the Cure’ but I don’t want to get sued

  1. There should be a “love” button.

  2. Sara says:

    You’re going to be angry at me now. Since Oct. I have been knitting you a scarf with yarn that I bought that will give proceeds to Koko. If I ever remember to send it to you, will you still wear it? I worked so hard on it for 4 months and then the awful thing happened! By the way, I signed the petition that was going around on FB right away.
    Please send me your new address so I can send you the contriband scarf.

  3. Hollary says:

    I love this!!!! And I love your friend’s humor. Hahahahahaha. I am going to friend you on FB. Do not feel you must accept. 😉

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