Recliners and Foobs

Well, I am two weeks and counting on the life-changing surgery that will take place August 2, 2011.  Because of who I am, I am a planner and organizer, sometimes more than an activator, but that is another blog for another time.  I get things planned so that when the @hit hits the fan, I’m there with a catchers’ mitt and Clorox Wipes ready to take the mess.  Since we are within the date of my party, I have started obtaining and organizing comfort items important for healing post surgery.  Some are medically necessary.  Two of these I have been shopping for this past weekend–1.  a recliner for sleeping, 2.  A pair of foobs.

Now, some people might think shopping for both of these might be pretty easy, but let me tell you, it is not.  I have very particular taste and very little money to spend on things that I see as luxury items like recliners and all sorts of post-surgical chachkas.  However, a doctor told me I needed a recliner, so I relented.  I usually get my furniture at YardSaleLand or the very exclusive boutique Thi FtStorE.  I’m sure many of you shop at the same places;)!  However, a recliner that I will need to sleep upon for several weeks could not have anyone else’s body lice on it (ew), so I had to get new.  But that didn’t mean I had to pay full price!  My budget was very strict, but not as strict as my sense of style–it could not look like a recliner that would be comfortable in my parents home (I love my parents very much, but our sense of style in recliners is different).  After shopping online for what seemed like days, my DH relented and went with me to the Raymour and Flannigan outlet.  Buying furniture together was something we did when our love was young, and being in the furniture store together brought back a familiar comfort we hadn’t had in quite a while.  We divided and conquered the massive warehouse, going down row after row of overstuffed, marshmallow-y recliners, recliners that looked like they belonged to friends of my parents, and were now playing canasta in the living room together.  So sweet, but not for my street fighter needs.  I needed something comfortable, yet sleek.  Stylish, yet functional.  And never, ever, overstuffed.  We were just about to leave when I saw it–black lacquered wooden arms, not really recliner-esque at all.  In fact, if you didn’t know it was a recliner, you would think it was just an easy chair.  E and my furniture buying spidey senses started to tingle.  “Take a seat,”  he told me, “stay there for about 15 minutes.  Can you sleep there?”  I closed my eyes and imagined myself asleep in tremendous pain, wanting comfort.  Yes!  THIS WAS THE CHAIR!!!

I opened my eyes and shared the good news.  Our quest was not only over, it was 40% off!  A cool, sleek, street fighting recliner ready to take her post in the living room in front of the streaming Netflix TV.  Now to get it home.  On the way there, E decided if nothing else, the chair would fit on the roof rack of our new RAV4 (our lease was up–I wanted something good in snow, this was cheaper than the Matrix!!!).  I had faith in our new car–and guess what?  It fit in the back without even straining to close the door.  We even had room to go to BJs and buy other more mundane things needed for recovery, like TP and quart sized containers of Haagen Daas.  And all was right with the world–I could check ‘recliner’ off my preparation list.

Next on the list is foobs–yes, fake boobs.  I wont go into intimate detail, but if it makes you uncomfortable, I’m letting you know now so you can read someone else’s blog instead.  My feelings will not be hurt.  Today I have an appointment with Dr. White to talk about foobs.  He is a nationally known expert in a certain type of foob reconstruction, the kind I am hoping I can undergo (we’ll see soon!).  In our interview, I get to decide what type of foob I want, kind of like buying my recliner.  Unfortunately, my husband can’t be with me to make this decision (really, it would be nice if he could be there as he will be one of the few people who will get to see them for the rest of my life).  I’m hoping the energy and excitement of buying my recliner will be there when I see the right foob–will the 425 cc size excite me more than the 400 cc?  I wonder what I would be consisdered now?  650?  If so, how much lower will make me happy?  Just like with the recliner, I DO NOT want anything overstuffed!  I want something comfortable without being ostentatious.  I’ve been overstuffed every since I got my real boobs.  I want stylish, yet comfortable foobs.

So soon, very soon, I will trade the overstuffed ‘cushions’ for the sleek, fuctional, yet ‘cushions.’  I’d rather not have to trade at all, but hey, you do what you have to do.  And if, in the process, I can get the body of a street fighter, why the H not?  Be afraid, Cancer.  Two weeks and you are GONE!

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