Adding to the team…

I hope this post serves as advice for any other warriors out there that have been visited by The Guys In The White Van.  If you get bitten by the breast cancer bug and choose to remove and reconstruct your breastesis (as what’s his face used to say on that show…), make sure you choose a surgeon that is 1.  Board Certified, 2.  Experienced (you only have one set of natural tatas–if someone is going to be slicing and dicing, you want someone that has held a knife before!), 3.  Nice (it goes a long way if you have a good relationship with your surgeon,  4. Has an office staff that is kind, friendly, and  professional,  and, probably most importantly, 4. CONFIDENT!  Make sure he or she knows how good he or she is without being cocky.  If they don’t know, they probably are not confident in their own abilities.  Find someone who is.  The tatas you save may be your own!

Just this week I added to my team.  After a lackluster second meeting with Dr. Brazil, I asked other medical doctors for recommendations.  One name kept coming up– Dr. Lukka.  I researched Dr. Lukka on line–glowing reviews.  I went to see Dr. Lukka.  After explaining my situation, his secretary worked to get me in the next day.  His office was large and nicely laid out–much less clinical than Dr. Brazil’s.  His staff was pleasant to me, much more so than Dr. Brazil’s, whom I found to be a bit cold.

What impressed me most about Dr. Lukka was, #1, the fact that he was straight with me from the git.  He told me I do not have enough belly fat to create two reconstructed breasts that would make me happy.  I looked a little sad when he turned to give me good news, “However, you DO have ample fat in your inner thigh.”  HOT DAMN!  My fat, Ashkenazi thighs are good for something!  They can be boobs!  How awesome is that?  Dr. Lukka just came back from a seminar in Helsinki where he discussed microsurgery like this, and has taught a class in making new boobies from fat pulkes.  I’m sure the catalog copy was a little different, but you get the idea.  He also said if I’m unhappy with the, ehem, size of the new boobies, he can liposuction  fat from my tushy and make my boobies bigger.  All for the same price!

Because ALL warriors must get a second and even third opinion before letting anyone near their girls with a knife, today I decided to give Dr. Brazil’s boss, Dr. White, a chance, to see what he had to say.  He also has a very good reputation, and good online reviews.  He also has the same office staff as Dr. Brazil.  Not my favorite.  When Dr. White came into the room, he was shorter than I expected.  Not that it makes a difference, it just surprised me.  While he was confident in his abilities, he could not do what I wanted.  He told me he couldn’t give me what I want, that I don’t have enough fat on my tummy OR on my inner thigh.  My tushy, however, he said he could use, but not all at once (this I don’t understand).  He also told me yesterday he did a bilateral reconstruction, and it was grueling, and he didn’t want to do one again.  He offered me a staged reconstruction–first we would do the breast that had the cancer, then some time in the future we would think about the other one.  Oh, and Dr. Brazil would be helping, because otherwise he would be exhausted.

I respect the honesty this man presented, me, but I’m not going with him.  His exhaustion concerns me, and I don’t want staged reconstruction–I want to wake up and feel complete.  So, I am going with Dr. Lukka.  He will be the recon man on the team.  It is all coming together now… and smell that?  It’s Cancer… pooping its cancer-pants in fear!  Be afraid Cancer, the team of Cancer Street Fighters is coming for you!  The Guys In The White Van don’t stand a chance!

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